Love and Relationships

The Unmarried Woman

March 4, 2016

I have this burden on my heart to encourage people to maximize every season of their lives. The Word of God tells us,” To every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)  Last time I zoomed into the life of an unmarried man and illustrated how God  used the life of Adam to lay out the blueprint on what a man of God looks before marriage. If you haven’t read it, read about the The Unmarried Man here. Today I want to zoom in on the life of an unmarried woman using the life of Eve as the blueprint. For the life of a woman, God demonstrated two phases: The Preparation and The Presentation.

1.The Preparation

” And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman”- Genesis 2: 21-22a

God formed every creature and they all had partners except Adam. Out of everything that God had created up until that moment, the first time God was displeased was when He saw that Adam had no helper and so the Lord God said, ” it is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”-Genesis 2:18. The need of a helper resulted in the creation of woman. This concept is important to understand because of the preparation phase of the unmarried woman. If God created the woman to be a helpmeet, then the phase leading up to marriage should be a period of time where the woman discovers her purpose, talent, strengths, passion, and everything she will eventually utilize to “help”. You cannot help someone if you do not know what you are capable of doing!

After God put Adam asleep, He was busy in the back making Eve. “My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be”- Psalm139:16. What sticks to me in that scripture is the personalized way God created us. He did not mass-produced anyone, but skillfully created each person for a specific purpose. This is to illustrate that as an unmarried woman, you are whole! You are a complete person! The Word of God says ” when I was made”. Most women live with this idea that they are not complete until they are married. No! That is not Scripture, that is culture! God does not make “half” beings so stop making excuses for yourself that you will be happy when you find your “better half”. If you are not complete in Christ before marriage, you will still be incomplete in marriage. Your life does not begin the day you get married because God needs you to live for Him and serve Him from day one!

“The unmarried and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband” 1Corinthians 7:34

The other part of the preparation phase of a woman is rooted in her ability to serve God. As an unmarried woman, you have to know the Word of God for yourself. It is the Word of God that will give you validation, it is the Word of God that will make you understand your worth, it is the Word of God that will reveal your purpose to you. In addition, the Bible calls the woman a “helper” meaning you have to know certain things in order to render help. What you learned in your unmarried days will eventually be transferred to your children! The Bible tells us, ” My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake the teachings of your mother“- Proverbs 6:20. What have you deposited in yourself that is worth passing down to generations to come? What are you prepare to teach your children? The most amazing and equally scary thing about a woman is your ability to not just affect your husband, but generations to come! Kings and queens are birth through you and lineages of greatness are sustained through you! For these reasons, do not miss the opportunity to allow God to mold you in this season! “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy– think about such things”- Philippians 4:8 Your focus at this stage of your life should not be how to get a man, but how to please God.

2. The Presentation

“Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man“- Genesis 2: 22

When God was done creating Eve to be a suitable helper for Adam, God presented Eve to Adam. When I studied this verse, so many things jumped out and screamed at me! I was amazed at the fact that all the important foundational preparations that Eve went through was prior to meeting Adam and God only deemed it fit to introduce the two once both were complete. The second thing that amazed me with the above scripture is that God did the presenting. No where in Scripture are we told that Eve went out of her way to devise a scheme to capture the heart of Adam. She did not have to seduce him in any way neither did she have to try! In just being who God created her to be and aligning herself with the Will of God, she was good enough for Adam! In the appointed time, God simply woke Adam up and presented a woman to him. This leads to the important aspect of the God’s presentation.

“And Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of man.”- Genesis 2: 23

A great lesson is embedded in that statement. Woman of God, the man prepared for you by God will know you! God did not meet Adam before presenting Eve to give him a brief summary of what He did while he was asleep so Adam had no foreknowledge of God’s intention to make woman, YET when God presented Eve, Adam immediately recognized Eve as his wife! God did not force Eve on Adam and Adam did not waste time in knowing who she was! As an unmarried woman, do not waste precious time trying to convince a man that you are the right woman for him. No matter how prepared you are for marriage, how strong your foundation is, if the man you are interested in is NOT your Adam, he will not know you. Rather he will waste your time, energy, resources, and possibly defile you in the process. In addition, do not be discouraged when a man does not recognize you. You do not need to prove to any man that you are “a good woman” or “wifey material”. The last thing you want is to spend the rest of your life “helping” a man you had no business with in the first place. Wait for the man who sees you and knows without doubt that you are his wife and he will recognize you because he will see that you are the “helper” he needs in life.  Wait for a man that declares like Adam, ” you are bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh”. That is the type of love God intends you to have!

At the conclusion of all things, eternity is more important than marriage, and God is more concern in making sure that your walk with Him is true than you getting married. Ask yourself, “If I never get married, will God still be enough?” God needs to be enough. God has to be enough because everything else outside of God are gifts. The Word of God says seek first the kingdom of God and His righteous and then all other things will be added. We cannot confuse the order in which God does things. We must first delight ourselves in God and know that in God we are complete, before He can trust us enough to be with another. Take your eyes from the marriage timeline you made yourself and focus on God. He makes all things beautiful…in its time!


With Love ♥



He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”- Ecclesiastes 3:11

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